I have been forewarned about this.

college bound

Imagine walking into your first year of high school oblivious to where your life decisions will take you one day.  When you get honor roll one quarter freshman year thinking holy shit, that was easy I’ll get it again this quarter but then you slack off. The senior slide hits you even when its the first year of high school and you ride it all the way to the summer of your senior year. 

I was just starting my freshman year when 45 days into my first year of high school when I got my report card back and it said I made honor roll with a 90.0 GPA.  When I went home that day with my report card in hand with my sisters my parents gave me this sense of proudness because I never thought I would make honor roll. After that day and the rest of the three quarters of my freshman year; my grades literally screamed timber. 

My second year of high school started strong because I knew that if nothing changed; I will have a tough time applying to college. After the first couple months, I gradually became careless. The carelessness came from my belief that I could coast through and still get into college with no problems because my parents could just make a call and make it happen. My finals sophomore year brought my parents to tears of disappointment because I basically failed every single of them. Deep inside of my heartless body, I felt disappointed in myself because I knew that I didn’t go the extra hundred miles to get in tip top shape for all my finals, I didn’t study at all. 

My junior year starts out strong as usual with the “I will get straight A’s this year and increase my chances to get into my dream school. The beginning of the year, I got into this habit of doing just enough to get by and pass a class. That habit got horrible when I was in the hole with almost failing a science class, if you want me to be specific it was chemistry. My chemistry grade was literally a 46% average and this was NOT my finest nor proudest moments. I am more disappointed in myself than my parents, that says a lot coming out of the horses mouth. I ended my junior year in chemistry with an 83% average, that is with five one hundreds on quizzes and test including the hardest of the hardest exams of the year.

My summer this year after finishing my junior year, and the thought of where I want to attend for the upcoming year after graduation is itching in my head. I literally fucked myself so hard because I won’t have a fun time applying because of my grades and my immature carelessness throughout my high school career. I was more disappointed in myself, just by me saying that says a lot about my maturity since it only took until my summer of senior year to figure out that I 100% fucked myself hard. I never really developed a studying habit it mostly consisted being in front of the TV, watching Youtube, uploading vines and Netflix. Since the time has come to start preparing to start college searching and doing campus tours, I have a holy shit moment every day. Everyday I ask myself why did I not try to go the extra mile and develop a study habit and try to ask for help. Each time I asked that to myself every time the answer was ” I am too fucking proud to ask for help,” well that attitude of mine has to change very quickly!  The fact that I have to downgrade myself to the thought of taking a year at home to get my grades to where they should be for transferring. It really sucks but then I think to myself the only person who I can blame is myself because I could have changed my ways years ago but I was a stubborn little fucker. My dream school was Quinnipiac University but now I am going to take a year at a local college; work my ass off and be able to finally have a fucking choice for once.



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